In working with wealthy clients for nearly 20 years, I have come to see wealth in many ways. One: wealth is a vulnerability.
Our culture views wealth as strength, power, freedom. Wealth holders surely experience those things. In addition, they may wander into a social gathering, party, or business function and wonder: “Do they like me for me, or my money?” Because there is a great emphasis of value on money and wealth in our society, the human being, in this instance, wealthy person, is often not seen for who they are, but what they have. We may speak of someone with wealth in terms of “net worth,” rather than their personal characteristics, values, or perspectives on life.
In my early work with people with wealth, I would “idealize” them, as I saw them as above myself. They were rich, they had it made. They would never want for anything. Over time, I became aware of this “projection,” and realized my “judgments,” about these folks was impairing my ability to see them for who they really were, let alone help them. On the flip side, they “felt,” my judgment and it kept the relationship stuck at a particular level of trust. I confronted my “wealthism,” over the course of several years and eventually came to see wealthy folks as ordinary people having an extraordinary experience, due to having significant financial means.
